Give us a break!

A guy goes into an optician's and says " I'd like some glasses please, I think I'm short sighted".
The optician (having an off day) takes the man outside and pointing upwards says, " See that round yellow thing up there"? "Yes" the chap replies. "Well that's called the sun, it's 93 million miles away". "How far do you want to see"?

What gets wetter as it dries? Answer:-A towel.
Why should you never put a cat in a washing machine? Answer:- Because you might get a sock in the puss.
How many football managers does it take to change a light bulb? Answer:-Only one, but he refuses to change it saying that it's worked perfectly well in the past.