Disabilityuk.com
This week the Sun is passing through
the constellation of Suddenlyappearious in it's lower right top left hand quadrant
and the Moon is hiding behind a cloud. This means that it will be a very good
week for things that you haven't seen before or things that apparently come from
nowhere all of a sudden like. Most people will be celebrating Christmas about
this time of year also and there appears to be a few myths attached to all this.
One of the biggest mythtorys of them all is this Farther Christmas guy or Santa
as he is also known by, just one of apparently many aliases he uses in different
parts of the world. This character seems to have existed for donkeys years down
through the century's. His intentions seem to be good however but his methods
are somewhat in doubt as they still baffle many people today, even top theorists
and the like. So it's about time we sorted this mess out a bit. This chap has
a habit of sneaking around during the hours of darkness usually between the night
of the 24th and the morning of the 25th of December every year, wearing a long
white beard and a red suit with a bobble hat which was apparently given to him
by the coca cola company sometime in the last century. He gains entry to peoples
homes and deposits gifts in the place, usually under things like Christmas trees
or in peoples socks, even at the foot of your bed while you are asleep. It has
often been reported that his preferred mode of transport is an old fashioned sleigh
pulled by reindeer. If the truth be known he actually only uses this thing on
ceremonial occasions, as it is totally impractical given his nocturnal activities,
plus the lights on this thing weren't all that bright. All this stuff people tell
about him just don't make sense and you couldn't get a modern day kid to believe
this stuff either as they aren't as stupid as what we used to be these days. As
for landing this sleigh thing on peoples roofs and gaining access to premises
by going down chimneys, ... well ! Just analyze the situation. On a flat roof
fine maybe, but most roofs have steep gradients making it virtually impossible
as the thing could easily wobble off or at least sit at a 45 degree angle, which
would cause all his prezzies to fall out onto the street below and as for the
going down chimneys bit ,... well, have you seen the size of this fellow ? Not
likely, besides which, most modern day buildings don't have chimneys as such these
days. The best you get are these little tiny things that chuck out fumes from
central heating systems and the like. Now try going down one of those things for
a laugh, even if you succeed you just end up inside the business end of a boiler
type thingy which is a heck of a job to get out of, not even the worlds finest
magicians can do that one yet. So using common sense and modern day methods of
looking at things what do we make of all this ? Well modern day theorists have
come up with a few alternative suggestions that could fit the bill. How is it
possible to accomplish all this ? The answers arrived at are somewhat startling.
The fact that this has been going on for centuries implies that Santa could be
a remaining member of a previously unknown long living race of people whom were
in possession of technology far in advance of ours, or possibly an extra terrestrial
person with the capabilities of teleportation or even time travel. Now this immediately
puts a different light on things. It explains for a start how he can cover the
whole world in just one 24 hour period. Anyone whom has ever seen star trek will
be familiar with the transporter system. Now this device could be pre - programmed
to split Farther Christmas into several Farther Christmas's and beam him in and
out of several different locations simultaneously thus enabling him to accomplish
his task with great ease. That and with the aid of a cloaking device explains
how he can get in and out of peoples houses unnoticed and also without being detected
by even the most sophisticated security and surveillance systems. So there we
have it, that's how it's done at last and Farther Christmas will continue to come
and go at will for the foreseeable future. The answer as to why he is the size
that he is, is, people are so grateful for him doing his thing, they often leave
glasses of milk and food, like mince pies for him to eat while he visits their
premises, which he will never refuse just in case some people get the idea that
he is ungrateful for their offerings, which of course he never is. All the best
to you Santa, or whatever your name is, - I'll leave him some chocolate, a Christmas
pudding and a can of beer to drink.
( for when he's off duty of course
that is ).
Try not to do your shopping on Thursday this week as you
may find that most shops will be shut for some reason or other. So shop later
in the week to avoid disappointment.
This weeks prediction has been forecasted
by the famous English astrologer: Jay Inglebell.
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